If not, take heart and keep reading. You are not alone. When it comes to women and money, we have more incentive and opportunity to spend on 'little things' than men do, and we are often more deeply in denial about why we do the things we do. We are bombarded from all sides with suggestions on how to 'treat ourselves better', and unfortunately, these treats usually cost money. Had a hard week at work? Treat yourself to a manicure or a massage at the spa...after all, you deserve it!
Be clear. This ISN'T about deserving. We are all worthy and deserve to be pampered, both by ourselves and others. The bigger issue here is taking care of ourselves financially. The ads are so grossly misguided as to be disgusting, if you really think about it. What good is a manicure to a woman if she is getting it at the expense of her future? If she knew that someday all those little treats would not only cost her freedom and happiness, but would prevent her from having the rosy picture she sees for herself, would she make the same decisions? If someone re-framed those 'little' purchases and showed her how much she could accumulate by investing the money regularly instead, what do you think she would do?Just your own mental responses to the above questions will give you some clues as to how deeply this 'spend' mentality is ingrained in you. The truth is, those of us who have learned or decided to truly put ourselves first financially do it by keeping and growing our money. All the 'little' things that make us feel happy and centered are far sweeter when we are not worrying about paying for them. Even the deep peace and balance we can experience by practicing yoga, meditation and other forms of self-appreciation can be deepened by the satisfaction of knowing we are in control of our financial futures. The opposite feelings of terror, lack of control and uncertainty about the future eat away at our peace of mind, no matter how many tools we may employ to hide or dissolve those fears.
In Wealth of Experience - real investors on what works and what doesn't, Vanguard financial writer Andrew S. Clarke shares stories submitted by 600 Vanguard clients. These are real people who share their real results and lessons about investing and creating financial freedom, and the most common sentiments are also the most telling. For example, "You can't invest and grow money you don't have. There is no better way to build wealth than saving," "Spend less than you earn and invest the rest," and "It doesn't matter how much you make, it's how much you save." We know, we know! But do we? If people who have made intelligent choices financially keep telling us these things, but instead we listen to corporations that would rather see our money in their pockets, we will never join the ranks of the financially intelligent.
M.P. Dunleavey, financial writer for MSN Money and author of the book Deal With Your Debt, wrote a column this week about the lies we tell ourselves about money. In 3 Lies We Tell About Money, she helps us face the lies encouraged by every ad we see. The article may help to reinforce my assertion that you are not alone in your behaviors, and comes complete with examples as well as suggestions about how to change our mindset. Dunleavey asserts that 'You can't make a complete financial transformation until you learn to spot the ways you may be less than honest about your own money picture -- and face your financial reality.'
Those small pleasures are adding up and taking away your ability to create wealth. A wise investor from Wealth of Experience (see book - above) stated that he sees credit card spending and debt as negative investment. How brilliant! The next time you are tempted to treat yourself, instead try punching that purchase amount into a savings calculator and see what you are really depriving yourself of. Then REALLY treat yourself and keep it in the bank! You'll have plenty of spa money later.
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