It's All About ME

I saw a young girl wearing a t-shirt that said this recently, and my instant reaction was to think how obnoxious that is.

...And then, I re-thought. While I'm all for children learning to respect and think of others and not be too self-centered, I realized the more I thought about it what a great message that really is. It's all about me!

How many times, as kids, were we told that the Universe doesn't revolve around us, the world does not just give us what we want, we should just stop dreaming and be happy with what we have like 'everyone else,'? How sad!

Girls, especially, get short shrift when it comes to people telling them how great they are, how talented, how special and how capable...how important. This translates, later in life, to women who lack confidence, and who don't really know how to take care of themselves. In a world that runs on money, this means that many women end up poor and scared, and wishing that the little girl they once were had been taught better.

As women, we are often caught up in all the roles we play: mother, wife, co-worker, neighborhood driver, volunteer, friend...the list goes on. We are bombarded with mixed and varied messages - we look old, we haven't saved enough for retirement, we're beautiful just the way we are, we need to be more youthful and beautiful, strength is beautiful, wealth is evil, especially for women.

We need to invest time in thinking about our true priorities. After all, if we don't define and live our priorities, who will? And whose priorities will we be living?

Those priorities have to include financial independence. There are no two ways about it. Even if you believe you don't need financial abundance, the freedom from worry that comes with having enough is something we can all achieve, and should all strive for. Financial independence doesn't need to be some ideal on a pedestal - it is as simple as having enough cashflow to cover monthly expenses. When you have that, everything else is gravy, and can be saved and invested, which is also, obviously, important.

Put yourself first and enjoy the rewards. For once, think to yourself, 'It's all about ME!!'

Some resources you may enjoy and perhaps share with your kids:

• Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad - What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
• A Smart Girl's Guide To Money: How to Make It, Save It and Spend It (for young girls)
• Suze Orman's The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom

Money, Weight-Loss, and Relationships...Oh, My!

If you have never noticed the parallels among various aspects of your life, then this article is meant for you. We are wholistic beings, and as such we tend to react and act in similar ways in varied situations. Similarly, the same type of principles apply, whether we are discussing money, relationships or health. For instance:

• Calories vs. dollars: Burn more calories than you consume - lose weight. Save more money than you spend - have money. Simple! Sometimes we complicate things in order to feel as if they are not accomplishable (is that a word? If not, it seems to work).
  
• Reactionary living vs. conscious, goal-oriented living: Whether you eat a tub of ice cream after a fight with your husband, an upsetting work episode or after a small diet 'slip-up,' the result is the same - you are reacting without conscious thought, and usually it is to your detriment. We all do it. Conversely, getting up at 6am consistenly to work out, making a decision ahead of time not to jump to anger when triggered, and saving part of your paycheck every month are ALL conscious decisions. All will benefit you, both in short-term confidence and motivation and in long-term, positive results.
  
• Dreaming vs. settling: Do you dream big dreams, or is your most common sentiment 'I can't change anything?' Whether you feel you are stuck in your job or your relationship, the concept - and the feelings - are the same. In the same way, if you are of the attitude that you can always learn and grow from every situation, and that you control your destiny by your choices, your life - from finances to relationships - will just keep getting better from here on in. How can I tell? Because I know that it doesn't matter what happens to you; what matters is how you handle it. Of course we have all heard this, but it really does ring true.
  
• Long-term vision or instant gratification: Did you want to skip reading this one because it made you cringe? Often, the reason we feel the need for instant gratification is deeper than just selfishness or impatience. Below this are some deep, swirling emotions and beliefs. For instance, our survival instinct whispers to us that we must gather NOW. We must get it while we can, because we cannot be sure what the future holds. Perhaps we do not trust ourselves, or the people around us, so we really can't be sure that we will reach for those dreams we harbor; we'd better enjoy life now, and besides, there isn't enough to go around, so we must be sure and experience and have what we can. We deserve it, after all - this is a big one. When we deny ourselves, somehow our subconscious feels slighted and stamps its' little feet: "I want it NOW! Why can't I have it NOW??" So we give in to our fragile ego and buy and consume things now to make ourselves feel worthy.
  
  Instead, when we gain the confidence and long-term vision to consciously create our lives, we can quiet our ego and those 'what-if' worries. The future picture becomes bigger and more important than the present wants. It is an amazing process to begin looking to the future, and to do so we must ensure that we focus on the benefits such behavior will engender. If we don't, our current selves will revolt, and we will give in. Each time you have a little money, for instance, your brain may scream 'spend it!!!' even as you consciously know that saving it is a wiser choice. Focus on the bigger picture; do whatever it takes to create a shining future for yourself in your mind. Picture the growing wealth, the happiness and confidence you will feel, and BE that future self in your mind if you need to.

The list could go on, but this is enough to illustrate the old saying that 'wherever you go, there you are.' Examining your behavior and beliefs in one area can and will affect every other area in your life. Make changes in the way you handle your relations with others, and like a domino effect, all the facets of your life will be equally affected. Try it, and reap the rewards. Anyone can choose to take more control of their lives and start creating positive results. YOU can do it!

Are You The Boss (of Your Money)?

Being wealthy means being in charge - of our choices, our money, and ultimately our futures. When we are in control we make conscious choices about what we will do with each dollar we generate: we may put it to work to make more dollars, or we may spend it on something we have allocated it to, but always we are in charge.

When first starting out, we may feel utterly out of control, and it this terrifying and defeating feeling which leads us to seek control, calm and a larger sense of choice. We begin learning, and gaining skills and knowledge. We begin to make different choices and enjoy - or regret - the consequences.

On the road to financial awareness and intelligence - and eventually independence - there are signs. These signs tell us how we're doing, and they direct us accordingly, if we listen. Sometimes we ignore the signs, especially when we perceive them as negative. They threaten our sense of comfort and of self, so we bury them, along with our reactions. However, awareness and acknowledgement are what we need. They lead to the changes we seek, and so we must heed these signs if we want to grow and increase our financial intelligence.

The following is a list of signs that indicate you could have more control over your finances. If you are reading this column you are already on your way, so congratulations are in order. RTake a deep breath and see if any of these signs apply to you. If they do, swallow your pride and look at the bigger picture - the wonderful, bright and shiny financial future you are creating for yourself by facing your less than shiny past decisions.

• Balance Avoidance: This sign occurs when you go to take money out of the bank machine and you dont know what your receipt will read, or you are afraid to even look at the numbers. The same applies if you are unsure of what your mailed bank statement will read, and doubly if you are afraid to open it and look at it. When you are in control you will look forward to ensuring your balance is exactly as you expect it to be. It will not be more, because you KNOW your own money, and if it is less, you will know someone has made an error and you will pursue the correction of said error. The first step in reaching this point is to separate your emotions from your finances. Try and look at things objectively; forgive yourself and move on, and start keeping track of your hard-earned money. Never stop counting.
  
• Passivity: You rely on someone else to make suggestions (broker or advisor) or take care of money tasks (husband). While this may seem a reasonably safe route for many women, the facts and statistics tell us otherwise. Women form the majority of those who live in poverty, and it is not just about those who live in bad neighborhoods or make poor choices. Many women are shocked to find themsleves with little or no money in their later years, just when they thought they'd be retiring in comfort. For some eye-opening information as well as some strategies to overcome this wall of misperception, try What's Your Net Worth? by Jennifer Openshaw, and Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny by Suze Orman.
  
• Disinterest: You are not interested in money. If you find financial websites, television shows and newspapers boring, or just generally feel the subject of money is not for oyu, then you certainly cannot be in control of your finances. This is can be hiding a fear of the unknown, a sense of intimidation, or ignorance. See the next point.
  
• Ignorance: You have not read a book about finances in the last year (if ever!). The subject of money gets more interesting the more you learn. Indeed, as you see how what you are learning applies to your specific ability to create and to keep more of the green stuff, your interest level rises proportionately. It becomes extremely exciting as you prgoress towards mastery and financial independence. No matter how intimidating or boring it may seem, start reading and don't stop. At some point, things will begin to gel and you will feel a growing sense of empowerment and control. Then let us try and stop you!
  
• Crunching the Numbers: You don't shop around for financial products eg. mortgage, bank accounts, investments. When you feel your efforst in this arena won't make any difference, or you just can't be bothered, you haven't seen the big picture. Take a look at the chart below and compare the difference a few percentage points can make over time. It is based on an initial amount (invested or spent). Remember, this chart would apply to interest paid on debt in the opposite way as interest paid on investments. Every penny you can manage to put in your pocket or not pay in interest is money that can work for you to build your fortune.

Interest Future Value Future Value
Rate (20 years) (40 years)

4% $2222 $4,801
5% $2712 $7,040
6% $3310 $10,286
7% $4038 $14,974
8% $4926 $21,725
9% $6009 $31,409
10% $7328 $45,259

• I'm-not-worth-it-itis: You feel you are worth more at your job but haven't done anything about it. It doesn't matter whether you are self-employed and not asking enough for your work, or you have a traditional job: you know when you are being undervalued. It may be you haven't had the self-esteem in the past to feel worthy of more money, or perhaps it is your boss who has allowed you to languish in a low-paying position. As you gain more financial knowledge your self-esteem will increase as well, and you will find yourself intolerant of receiving anything less than you are able to generate. When you know every dollar counts and you are in control of your finances, that control bleeds over to all aspects of your life. If you feel you are underpaid, and especially if your job is your onlu source of revenue, you need to step up and make things happen. Only you can make whatever changes you feel are necessary to ensure a birght financial future, and that includes making as much money as possible within your working years.
  
• Lack of Strategy: You cannot name at least a few strategies you employ to save on taxes. This is not a trick. Anyone with true control over their finances knows that there are many factors which affect the bottom line. It's not about how much you make so much as about how you keep. Like shopping around for financial services, knowing your rights when it comes to tax payments can add up to significant savings each year, leaving more in your pocket. Your tax bracket and payment obligations are NOT set - there are many perfectly legal ways to offset and mitigate taxable events in your life. To become financially savvy and independent requires knowledge of all factors which affect your pocketbook, and that includes tax strategy.

While this list is not exhaustive, it may bring out emotions in you which you recognize. It is these emotions - fear, embrassment, disdain, regret - which trip us up when it comes to money. We must learn to look at our finances with objective eyes, to push through any guilt or fear we are experiencing and keep our eyes on the prize. If/when you can go through this list and confidently say none of it applies to you, you are well on your way to financial independence. Remember, you are not alone, and anyone can do this. YOU can do it.